Abby’s Story Exchange Experience

Re’Gen Story Exchange Participants

When I first walked into the room, I didn’t really know how to feel about the whole “story exchange”. In fact, I didn’t even really have a full grasp of what we were doing, or why I was there. I came into the experience unprepared, and with pretty much no expectations of what the night would hold.

It turned out to be a small group of maybe 7 or 8 people in total. Still, I didn’t know most of the people I was grouped with, so I felt kind of nervous. When I heard the activity that was going to take place, I felt even more nervous. Apparently, it was supposed to be some kind of “empathy-building exercise”. Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad, I thought to myself as Paul (the leader of the activity) went on to explain how it worked.

We were supposed to divide up into pairs, and share a personal story with our partners, based on a prompt that we chose beforehand. After we exchanged stories with one another, we would then have to try to tell our partners’ story, but embodying it as if we were our partners. 

I was feeling a little anxious by the time we got started, not only because I didn’t have much time to prepare what I was going to share, but because this was a new environment, with new people, and a whole new experience that I wasn’t familiar with. I couldn’t help but question to myself, how was I going to be comfortable with (and what was the point of) opening myself up to a complete stranger and sharing my story with them? 

I was soon partnered up with a girl about my age, or a little older. I found out as we started talking and introduced ourselves that she was feeling nervous too, although she, unlike me, had already had this experience before, maybe even multiple times. But there’s always something about sharing a personal part of your story to someone you’re meeting for the first time that’s nerve-racking, and to be honest, sometimes even intimidating. 

My partner went first, and as I listened to her story and took notes as she was talking, I found that I could relate to a lot of what she said. And the more she went on to tell her story, the more I found myself nodding along or murmuring under my breath in agreement. Of course, I couldn’t relate to all aspects of her story—it was her story and not mine, after all—but although the circumstances might have been different, I realized that there were similar emotions and struggles interwoven between each of our unique, individual stories. 

For my story, I chose the prompt, “Tell us about a moment or experience that changed your life.” It was the easiest one for me, and the one I felt I could be the most honest about, which is mainly why I decided to choose that prompt. Almost immediately my experience of moving for the first time to a different state popped into my mind. I was honestly afraid, though, that I wouldn’t end up having much to share, even about such a fundamental period of my life. I was worried that there would be some kind of limit to how much I could share, because I didn’t really know the person sitting in front of me, or I couldn’t gauge what their reaction to my story might be. So, I began my story somewhat carefully and hesitantly, trying to figure out how much I should say. Eventually, however, as I continued sharing my story, I stopped really thinking about it and got lost in the memories of my past. I hadn’t thought about my experience of moving in a long time, and telling that important part of my story refreshed my mind and heart. As I continued sharing aloud, I realized that not only can telling your story impact other people, but it can also, just as evidently, impact yourself. 

Once we had gathered back in the bigger group and began to tell our partner’s stories, I listened closely and had to remind myself several times that the story being told was not actually the storyteller’s story, but their partner’s. When it came to my turn, however, although I anticipated the experience, I also felt worried. Would I be able to portray the other girl’s story accurately? And how was I supposed to act as if I were someone else while telling this story? 

But once I started, I found that it was actually much easier than I expected, once I got into it. Referring back to my earlier notes, I told my partner’s story, trying to imagine that this was my own story that I was telling. It was not so difficult, I found, and words came to me easily. I wasn’t really sure how to end, because the story was an experience that was still ongoing, but eventually, an (inconclusive) ending came to me:

“There isn’t really a conclusion to this story, because it’s still going on…”

I think this is a significant statement that is relevant to everyone, because each person’s life is a story that is still being written.

As I listened to others share their partners’ stories, I marveled at the diversity and unique significance of each of our stories, even within such a small group. Everyone had something to share and bring to the table, in a unique and valuable way. As we concluded the night with our final thoughts on the story exchange experience, I discovered that I could, once again, relate to a lot of what other people said. The Story Exchange definitely helped me to feel empathy, and not only for others… but also for myself. Having the space and opportunity to share a meaningful part of my own personal story and then hearing it come from someone else’s mouth gave me a new perspective on the value and significance of storytelling. Stories have power, and they are a valid and important part of our lives; if we share our stories, and are willing to listen to others’, they could, even in the smallest ways, change our world.